Advertisements
Tag Archives: House of Cards

Students: La Macchina on Valentine’s Day “Armpit of Humanity”

15 Feb

EVANSTON, IL — Faced with an empty other half of the bed and a vomit-inducing hangover, sources confirmed that multiple

(via evanston.patch.com)

(via evanston.patch.com)

students could not in good conscience admit that they had an enjoyable time at La Macchina open bar night this Valentine’s Day.

Most students admitted that their night at La Macchina, a recently-opened Evanston restaurant/bar, was nothing but an empty symbol of their current love life, which consists of drunken booty calls and one-sided gazes across the table during their respective student group’s exec meetings.

Students revealed that Continue reading

Advertisements

Your Comprehensive and Completely Unbiased Guide to the Emmys

22 Sep
It's like the Oscars, but with slightly less Billy Crystal.

It’s like the Oscars, but with slightly less Billy Crystal.

If you’re anything like me, or any other person in a first world country, then you spend 90% of your preallocated social time binge-watching TV. Whether it’s through your roommate’s Netflix account that you’ve secretly been using for months (sorry Charleston Nippleberry), or maybe you’re one of those high rollers who can afford to pay for Comcast AND booze, you will make sure to get your daily fix.

The Emmys are like high school senior superlatives; everyone pretends they don’t matter, but they’re thrilled to tears when they get one (#MostLikelyToBeOnCopsClassOf2010). You could plop yourself down on the couch and watch the Emmys live, but let’s be real: ain’t nobody got time for that. Sunday nights are reserved for clearing the empty PBR cans from your apartment and trying to find creative ways to cover your new hickey before work the next day. So don’t bother DVRing it, you can find the condensed version of the probable outcomes below.

Continue reading

The Netflix Treatment: Which Other Shows Should Be Resurrected?

29 May

Arrested Development caused more of an uproar this weekend than an Apache-themed party at the Arizona capitol building, making every social media account the dumping ground for half-assed references to the banana stands and one-armed men. It’s nice to know that everyone can spoil the fun at the same time! Binge-watching is the new hip thing like moms in bell-bottom jeans or Hillary Duff’s clothing line at Kohl’s. It’s has the fun addictive properties of cocaine and the similar benefits of alienation from friends.

With Ronald Reagan out of the White House and his crack battle long over, there’s no stopping this infectious streaming disease. Plus Barry dug the shit out Continue reading