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Tag Archives: Instagramming

We put heinous captions on classic works of art

3 Jan

Hey, have you guise heard about this thing called the Art Institute? It’s like this really old asylum for murderers and stuff.

Maybe I’m thinking of an institution…

Eh, whatever. The point is, there are a lot of famous works of art in this fancy building on Michigan Avenue. And since Sherman Ave has such a vast and commanding mastery of the art world, we thought we’d share some of the Art Institute of Chicago with you.

Here are some priceless works that you can see, too, if you take a trip downtown.

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Selena Gomez arrives on campus; lives are ruined

5 Mar
Gomez, after repeatedly declining invitations to audit Human Sexuality.

Gomez, after repeatedly declining invitations to audit Human Sexuality.

EVANSTON — According to several poorly worded texts from friends, Selena Gomez visited campus on Monday. She was spotted at Hinman dining hall eating a minuscule slice of pizza, conversing with the grill lady, and Instagramming the salad bar.

One student who was eager to be interviewed, Chester Hanks, decided to skip class in order to meet Gomez. “She’s my dream girl. I figured if I met her and threw down some of my sick verses, she’d want to star in my next incredibly creative music video,” said Hanks.

Reporters were unable to reach #Kinetik for a statement on Chester’s up-and-coming hit, titled “Which One of You Peasants Stole My iPad.”

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