Tag Archives: Lakota

Sherman Ave Homecoming Court Voter Guide: Alex Matelski

22 Sep

In June, Sherman Ave sat down with each of the 2013 Homecoming Court nominees for wide-ranging discussions. If any cultural references seem slightly out of date, that’s because that was June and this is September and that’s how time works. Voting for Homecoming King and Queen begins soon!


Packingham: Can we get you anything? Some water? Skol?

Matelski: No, I’m good on that. Thanks.

Twattingworth: Do you think you’d rule the Homecoming Court like LeBron James on the basketball court or John Roberts on the Supreme Court?

Matelski: I would say neither. I would say that I would rule it probably more like Rafael Nadal on a clay court.

Twattingworth: Who would you say has been the biggest influence on your life in the last 14 minutes?

Matelski: Last 14 minutes? I would say (Evander Jones) and his falling down pants. They’ve really inspired me to keep my pants at my waist.

Evander Jones: Your life must be so sad right now.

Twattingworth: What’s your major?

Matelski: My major is biology and Spanish, double major. Pre-med.

Twattingworth: That’s great. Do you have any job prospects from that yet? What’s the average median income in the field? Are a lot of places hiring? Do you know what you’re doing after graduation? Why aren’t you married yet?

Matelski: Well the last question can be brought down to my mother. But aside from that I think that there a few jobs in the doctor field, I’ll probably be making anywhere from minimum wage to maybe $9 an hour. Hopefully that’ll increase at some point in the future if the Democrats win again. Continue reading