An Open Letter To The Little Caesar’s Pizza Bowl

Last year, we successfully lobbied the Capital One Bowl to choose Northwestern, leading to NU’s historic defeat of Georgia that launched the current 10-0 season the ‘Cats are enjoying. This year, we’re at it again with an open letter to the powers that be at the Little Caesar’s Pizza Bowl.

Dear Little Caesar’s Pizza Bowl,

Alright you fuckers, listen up. We don’t want you and you don’t want us. That’s just how it is, and we get that. But there’s no getting around the fact that we both need each other, so the sooner we learn to get along, the better.

Shurned Out: Riding the Bubble at Northwestern

Apparently he didn’t appreciate the five-foot pictures of his face in the crowd.

Last Saturday, John Shurna broke Northwestern’s career scoring record, surpassing Billy McKinny‘s 1,900 career points with a three-pointer against Minnesota. Last weekend I set a career personal high score of 18,310 points in BrickBreaker, but nobody made much of a fuss about it.* Or even a t-shirt.

As Northwestern basketball fans are starting to realize, life on the bubble of the NCAA tournament is a lot like what I’m assuming drunk sex with your pledge wife would be like: you hold your breath and hope that everything magically falls into place to bring about a wondrous sensation you’ve never felt before, but you’re really just waiting for something to go horribly awry and inevitably ruin everything you hold dear. There will probably be a lot of crying in the end no matter what.