An Open Letter To The Little Caesar’s Pizza Bowl

Last year, we successfully lobbied the Capital One Bowl to choose Northwestern, leading to NU’s historic defeat of Georgia that launched the current 10-0 season the ‘Cats are enjoying. This year, we’re at it again with an open letter to the powers that be at the Little Caesar’s Pizza Bowl.

Dear Little Caesar’s Pizza Bowl,

Alright you fuckers, listen up. We don’t want you and you don’t want us. That’s just how it is, and we get that. But there’s no getting around the fact that we both need each other, so the sooner we learn to get along, the better.

The Top Ten Reasons You And Your Girlfriend Are Going To Break Up

Bro it’s not looking good bro

1. She’s no longer impressed by your ability to eat an entire Little Caesar’s Hot-N-Ready.

2. She doesn’t twerk for you anymore.

3. She still twerks, though.

4. She broke her phone and did not include you on her “Broke My Phone and Need New Numberz” group message.