Qatar: It’s very warm, and very beautiful, and you’re not allowed to touch anything

People actually have cars like that in Doha

We were speeding through a roundabout, rubbernecking at the skyline, while our tour guide was trying to capture our attention. “When Qataris turn 18, native Qataris, that is, not ex-pats or migrant workers, they get a Land Cruiser if they’re a man and a Porsche Cayenne if they’re female. It’s all funded by the government!”

This, we later learned, was false. Or at least it wasn’t constitutionally ingrained. I can understand the confusion, since the sheer abundance of luxury vehicles careening around us could lead one to believe the citizenry considered them an inalienable right. The rest of this article, however, is true. This is unlike our publication I know, but in my attempts to caricaturize or embellish my spring break trip to Qatar, it became clear that the capital city of Doha is exaggerated and surreal enough without our hyperbole.

Sherman Ave Freshman Guide: Bicycles at NU

Testicular cancer? No way bro.

Before I came to Northwestern, it had been 3 years since I had ridden a bicycle for, well, socially acceptable purposes. Like most high school students, I felt that riding a bicycle was incredibly lame compared to owning a car, and even though most students at my high school did not own a car, getting a ride from your mom was still considered cooler than riding your bicycle (LOGIC BOMB). Nowadays, riding your bike is “hip,” “cool,” “environmentally friendly,” “a political endorsement of socialism,” etc. At Northwestern, riding your bike is a super viable way of getting to such important locations as: the student center that no one is close to; that place on Clarke that’s practically off-campus but for some reason they have classes there; your local alcohol purveyor; and many more. It’s important to understand whether owning and operating a bicycle at NU is the right decision for you. The following is a personal 2^nd amendment-centric manifesto confessional sexual novel handy guide on biking at NU.