Tag Archives: Mary-Kate and Ashley

Why My Birthday Is the Worst

11 Jun

I turned twenty this year. For many reasons, the weeks leading up to my birthday were filled with dread. “But Krystal,” you may say, “How could you have dreaded your birthday? After all, your birthday is theoretically the raddest of rad days! Weren’t you even a little excited?” Well you see, back when I was a naïve and ignorant youth much like yourself, I eagerly anticipated the annual celebration of my first breath of life. But now, being the wise and mature twenty-year-old that I am, I know better. Some scoff at my anti-birthday stance, calling me an attention whore and a negative bitch (actually verbatim). But I have my reasons. This one goes out to all the h8rz.

…Seriously? Again?

1. The drama. Oh, the drama!
Planning on spending time with friends? You’d better include literally everyone you’ve ever met, that is, unless you want to spend your entire day saying “Oh that? That was really last-minute and suuuper unorganized, otherwise of course you would have been there!!!!! As if my birthday would be even remotely enjoyable without you!!!” It doesn’t matter what you say. People will be offended.

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