“Ugh, I’m Such A SWUG,” Announces Girl With a 3.9 And Offers From McKinsey And Nielsen

EVANSTON– Senior Anna Penderson told her friends Tuesday afternoon that she is “officially” a senior washed up girl, according to witness reports.

“Ugh, I’m such a SWUG,” she declared while poring over her econometrics notes. “Like,

The Hardest Case: The true story of one NU student’s ascent to the top of the consulting world

Pecky Paddleton had it all figured out. Having triple majored in geography, African dance, and chemical engineering, the Northwestern senior was on his way to the final round interview with prominent consulting firm McKoonsey & Company. He still remembered the surprise evident in his parents’ voices when he first told them he was going to go do consulting and stuff.

“But why?” they asked.

“Well, ummm, you know, cases and stuff and that,” he had responded with the utmost confidence, laughing at their bewilderment.