Tag Archives: moonshine

Children’s Books for Future Northwestern Students

1 Dec
Now a major motion picture, starring Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen!

Now a major motion picture, starring Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen!

Looking for a great gift for your newborn baby cousin? Initiate him into NU culture nice and early with some classic children’s books, made just for the appreciation of Wildcats-to-be. All books are also available in audio-book form, narrated by Gary Saul Morson and Chet Haze, and can be found wherever books are sold on campus at an egregiously high mark-up.

Can you tell me how to get to L103?

A small and loveable freshman engineer decides to “walk through” her class locations like she did in high school, without consulting a map before venturing into the depths of Tech. By the time she asks for directions, she’s in Crowe pleading with philosophy professors who don’t know where they are either.

Continue reading

10 American Historical Events That Totally Should Have Been Pregamed

7 Jul

For those of you out there in blogosphere who aren’t familiar with the up-and-coming trend of “pregaming,” it is a term that refers to the act of consuming alcohol before any event; it could be a football game, a musical, or even a 250-student lecture. Unfortunately, this trend of pregaming has only become a common cultural activity in recent years. We must wonder: How would history have been changed if previous generations were clinical alcoholics like ours is? Here are the top ten historical events that would have been infinitely better had all parties involved drained several shots of Jose Cuervo beforehand.

Continue reading