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Tag Archives: movie theater

10 Reasons Why Memorial Day Sucks in New York City

27 May
  1. The world's most bitching location for a cookout.

    The world’s most bitching location for a cookout.

    Tourists. Suck. So. Hard. So yeah, technically I kind of am one since I’m only here for three months on my JR, but I mean is it so hard to not take pictures for three seconds? I’m trying to get drunk here and I swear to god if someone takes another selfie, blinds me with their flash, leaving me to spill my $9 vodka bomb then I will just cut a bitch. Well. Not really. More like cry in frustration.

  2. Everything is full. Hey guys, let’s go grab dinner at that cool little hole in the wall place we noticed for the first time last week. OH WAIT. Everyone and their damn Chihuahua had that idea. Why is that dog sitting in a high-chair? WHO THE HELL KNOWS.
  3. No matter where you go, someone there is funnier and drunker than you are. I like Irish pubs. They’re usually cosy, have lots of beer on tap, and have an old kind of charm. But on Memorial Day Weekend? Well screw me sideways because it looks like the Irish Mob is back out of retirement. Seriously, a friend of mine was called “boyo” like four times in half an hour by the server, who, by the way, brought us twice as many drinks as we asked for, which sounds great until you realize we had to pay for them and had basically no money.
  4. Everyone celebrates it but no one actually cares what we are memorializing. I enjoy drunkenness as much as the next guy, but I will pull a Van Gogh if I have to hear one more person try and toast “Good memories”.[1]
  5. You cannot get away from it. Bar? Memorial Day special. Central Park? Memorial Day gatherings. Movie Theater? THIS MEMORIAL DAY, COME SEE FAST AND FURIOUS 6. It’s endless and god help me why.
  6. Everyone is drinking. It’s great, so many drunk people around and bars are packed. Wait, this sounds like a good thing? Man I suck at this! Anyway, yeah, in reality Memorial Day has some shitty stuff in New York, but it also has redeeming factors. I’m going to go out drinking, so, uh, if you could just imagine I finished this article that’d be great.

Editor’s Note: Sherman Ave supports the troops.


[1] No I’m not joking, it was like four teenage girls and their one token dude friend who had no idea why he had agreed to go, then realized it was because he wanted to bang that one chick who was totally into him but just didn’t know it.

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9 Reasons Going to the Movies Alone is Actually Super Rad

15 Apr
You're basically the MLK Jr. of film-goers.

You’re basically the MLK Jr. of film-goers.

While I fully appreciate the convenience of Netflix, Hulu, and Comcast On Demand, I usually prefer to see movies in the theater. A trip to the theater is an event. Movie theaters provide a change in scenery, access to the grossest foods you could dream of, and a much-needed break from my nonexistent life at Northwestern.

Luckily, here at Northwestern, there are literally thousands of nerds to choose from when it comes to finding a movie buddy.  There was no shortage of people to accompany me to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I, The Lion King in 3D, and Wreck-it Ralph. I even managed to find a person with whom I could watch trees, cosmic swirls, and a stern-looking Brad Pitt on a loop for 139 minutes in The Tree of Life.

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