(via chicagosidesports.com)
As much as it pains me to say it, I don’t think that the good old Cardiac ‘Cats have a Nebraskan hail mary’s chance of making The Grandaddady of Them All. Unfortunately, there are more impediments blocking Northwestern from making the Rose Bowl than there are ways for NU to lose a game, but these three sticking points immediately jump out to me as reasons Northwestern doesn’t have a chance to make this New Year’s Tournament of Roses:
Dear Wildcats,
We at Sherman Ave talked a lot about An Ohio State University getting fucked, wrecked, guzzling our Siemian, and all sorts of other fantastic verbage *does Trumpy dickswinging celebration out of habit*. At this point, if you’re not familiar with the events of the OSU-NU game, you can just close this tab, and then find some Siemian to guzzle or something.
In reality, no real fucking or wrecking was had, neither by NU nor OSU. Of course, OSU supporters will be quick to say that, actually, they fucked us. But they’d be fucking wrong.
With the college football season coming to a close, we here at Sherman Ave wanted to provide our in-depth analysis on the final week of sports in the academic year when Northwestern will be relevant – Bowl Week.
Capital One Bowl
Nebraska vs. Georgia, Jan. 1
Remember that time when the Big Ten lobbied against Northwestern being in the Capital One Bowl in favor of a Nebraska team that #GotFucked and lost to a 7-5 Wisconsin team that lost by 49 points? So do we. However, Sherman Ave is an impartial source of fair, intelligent journalism, which is why we’re projecting that NEBRASKA IS GOING TO GET FUCKING RAILED! Nebraska is going to get fucked so hard that they’re going to be walking with a limp until the start of next season. This is a corn-shucking, pig-fucking (Really, they have sex with pigs) bunch of nobodies playing against a Georgia team that came within five yards of playing in the Championship Game. Nebraska’s marquee victory this year was against a weakened Michigan team that didn’t have Denard Robinson. Georgia’s best victory? Florida. Yeah. Think about that. Continue reading
Intimidating the Big 10 since…
Editor’s note: This “article” first appeared in 2011 and has not in any way been updated at all since then oops. We’ll call it a flashback or something and many of the lessons still apply.
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I’m going to go out on a limb and say that when you chose to come to Northwestern over the University of Crapcago, you did not decide to do so because of NU athletics.
See, this one time, Northwestern football decided to lose 34 straight games just for fun. And then, this other time, Northwestern basketball decided to never make the NCAA Tournament. As a joke. And it’s really fucking funny.
Sherman Ave 