Sherman Ave presents: Block 9 Interviews

–Pip Sleazy, Scurvy Jacobson and Lady Keystone

DM Announces Team Jacob As 2014 Beneficiary

DM officials declined to comment on whether the fact that EVERYONE JUST GOT PREGNANT FROM THIS would impact the event.

EVANSTON– Northwestern University Dance Marathon announced Thursday that Team Jacob, an organization dedicated to finding a cure for Robert Pattinson’s charming good looks, would be the the event’s primary beneficiary in 2014.

“We’ve come so far in the fight for Jacob,” DM representative Autumn Franklins said. “And we think this is a cause that the entire Northwestern and werewolf communities can really rally around.”