Tag Archives: Notre Dame Football

EXCLUSIVE: Manti Te’o Told Friends In Sixth Grade He Had A Girlfriend From “Camp”

16 Jan
Te'o, seen here pondering where it all went wrong with Cindy.

Te’o, seen here pondering where it all went wrong with Cindy.

SOUTH BEND — A lengthy Sherman Ave investigation has uncovered that Notre Dame star linebacker Manti Te’o lied to sixth grade classmates about having a girlfriend from a summer stay-away camp.

Te’o reportedly told friends that he and his “girlfriend” went all the way to second base, but that she lived really far away and wouldn’t be coming to visit. They were totally a thing, though, he assured his pals.

When sixth-grade bully AJ McCarron said he “didn’t think any girl would ever date a pussy like [Te’o],” the future Heisman Trophy finalist became visibly agitated and screamed that she was real, according to those familiar with the situation. Continue reading

Sherman Ave Bowl Game Predictions

31 Dec

With the college football season coming to a close, we here at Sherman Ave wanted to provide our in-depth analysis on the final week of sports in the academic year when Northwestern will be relevant – Bowl Week.

Capital One Bowl

Nebraska vs. Georgia, Jan. 1

Remember that time when the Big Ten lobbied against Northwestern being in the Capital One Bowl in favor of a Nebraska team that #GotFucked and lost to a 7-5 Wisconsin team that lost by 49 points? So do we. However, Sherman Ave is an impartial source of fair, intelligent journalism, which is why we’re projecting that NEBRASKA IS GOING TO GET FUCKING RAILED! Nebraska is going to get fucked so hard that they’re going to be walking with a limp until the start of next season. This is a corn-shucking, pig-fucking (Really, they have sex with pigs) bunch of nobodies  playing against a Georgia team that came within five yards of playing in the Championship Game. Nebraska’s marquee victory this year was against a weakened Michigan team that didn’t have Denard Robinson. Georgia’s best victory? Florida. Yeah. Think about that. Continue reading