Reality vs Expectations: the College Classroom Edition

Look at me I’m so disdained. Fuq u, school. When will Summer cum. I mean come. [via dvdactive.com]

Either I’m really bad at taking notes or these exams are vastly more complicated than what we’re taught in lecture.

Statistics
Lecture: 1+2 =3
Exam: Solve for cancer

Art
Lecture: Humans have created wondrous art throughout the ages
Exam: How does this ceramic vagina make you feel?

Econ
Lecture: Mark Witte talks about guns and butter
Exam:

On Tolkien, War and Morality

Tolkien, 1916

I logged on to Facebook this morning to discover that today marks the 122nd anniversary of the birth of J.R.R. Tolkien. I don’t want to call it his “birthday,” seeing as he passed away many years ago, and that learning of someone’s birthday on Facebook usually implies that you are friends with them, which I regrettably am not. We missed each other by almost 20 years. Yet his stories, in both literary and cinematic form, brought an amount of joy and imagination to my childhood (and adulthood) that I could hardly describe in words.

I remember with remarkable clarity the first time I was introduced to the world of Tolkien. The year was 2002 and I was

5 Spectacularly Awful Sci–Fi/ Fantasy Character Names

Science fiction and fantasy are interesting genres in that they encourage narratives free from association with real–world logic, philosophy, or science. Pretty much anything goes in the land of lightsabers and lazerbeams, and that type of liberal mentality can encourage the worst creative tendencies in otherwise talented writers, especially when it comes to something as simple––and seemingly trivial––as naming characters.

I, along with many others, went to go see The Hunger Games: Catching Fire over Thanksgiving break, and while I enjoyed the movie, I found myself spit–taking my liquid popcorn butter frequently as straight–faced actors called each other things like “Effie Trinket” or “President Coriolanus (Ha! Anus!) Snow.”

God is Dead, and so is Nietzsche. Kind of.

If you’ve been to the Google homepage today, you’ve seen the bizarre cubist homage to late philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche–better recognized as the guy who killed God and made that kid in Little Miss Sunshine take a vow of silence. Today would be his 169th birthday had he not gone crazy and died of

Graduating High School Senior Writes Hand-Written Love Letter to Crush

Lavecki included, along with the letter, the above photo of the sun rising over Lake Michigan, with the caption “one of us is the sun, one the city.”

GROSSE POINTE, MI – With only a few weeks before he is set to begin a new life at college, recently graduated high school senior Michael Lavecki has decided to “go for broke” with his long time crush Jessica Peterson-Caruso – by writing for her a hand-scribed, deeply confessional letter, detailing the vast array of feelings he has and has had for her for the last four years of his life.

“After this, dude, things are gonna be totally different,” he commented. “After she reads this letter, she’s finally gonna realize that what she’s wanted has been in front of her all along.”

Beyoncé “Super-Jealous” of Chet Haze’s Talent

Beyoncé, shortly after throwing her hands up in the air because she knows that she’s the hottest, baby.

In an exclusive interview with Sherman Avenue, seventeen-time Grammy award winner Beyoncé Knowles praised Chet Haze’s latest video, “Finest Girl,” as “the most promising display of raw talent I have ever seen.”

The star of Dreamgirls shared her high opinions of Chester Marlon Hanks, better known as “Chet Haze” in the rap community, whose introspective video about not remembering whether he got the digits of a girl at a club debuted yesterday.

“I thought it was an incredibly insightful commentary on today’s suffering economy. The subtle reference to Nietzsche really demonstrated his lyrical skill, concern with really deep topics, and how much he’s really learned from his classes at Northwestern. And the way that girl clearly took her makeup cues from Jenna Marbles, I just – it says so much about women’s role in culture these days.”

Sherman Ave Freshman Guide: Academics

So apparently, Northwestern University is a pretty damn good school. But what should you do after you get in? Here at Sherman Ave, we have been painstakingly researching the answers to all the questions incoming freshman were always too afraid to ask, as well as the questions that we totally wished we had thought of before entering this bastion of academic integrity. Our first topic? How to navigate Northwestern’s sea of academic options to engineer the greatest education possible.