Tag Archives: Pick-Up Lines

Man Arrested After Using Song Lyrics as Pick-Up Lines

26 Feb

Added Hill, “It seems to work for Chet Haze.”

LOS ANGELES — David Hill was arrested last Saturday after attempting to use lyrics from former chart-topping hits to pick up women. Years of failed attempts to “seal the deal” led him to try this tactic with hopes of finally impressing the ladies.

“He came up behind me and told me to ‘give [him] everything tonight, because we might not get tomorrow,'” one victim reported. Another pepper-sprayed Hill after he allegedly said to her “tonight I’m fucking you.”

“I told her I didn’t mean to be rude,” Hill stated in front of the court on Tuesday during his arraignment procedure. “I figured, these famous artists are getting mad pussy with these lines, so why can’t I do the same?”

A hefty fine and six restraining orders later, it seems Hill may have learned his lesson: “I get it now, those lyrics can seem a little rape-y when taken out of context. In the future I think I’ll steer clear of rap songs. Maybe I’ll try out a little country instead.”

Some Pick-Up Lines That Are Sure to Heat Things Up

14 Feb

Study up before heading to the Keg tonight

This Valentine’s Day, sophistication is critical. So for all of those love-birds out there who are flying solo this February, try out some of these classy, tested pick-up lines to get the girl (or guy) of your dreams to fall deeply in love with you…

And is your Dad a total psychopathic murderous shitbag!?

CATEGORY #1: Father’s Occupation
– Is your dad a mechanic? Because you have a finely tuned body.
– Is your dad a terrorist? Because you are da bomb.
– Is your dad a farmer? Because you have really nice melons.

CATEGORY #2: Your Love Interest’s Occupation
– Did you rent or buy…those wings, you angel?
– Are you a parking ticket? Because you have ‘fine’ written all over you.
– Is your name Gilette? Because you look like the best a man can get.

CATEGORY #3: Flattery
– That dress is very becoming on you. Then again, if I were on you, I’d be coming, too.
– Want to know my favorite part of a woman’s body? No joke. The vagina.
– I’d tap that.

Can't ask for much more, really.

CATEGORY #4: Touting Your Own Strengths
– Call me coffee, because I will keep you up all night long.
– Your eyes are the exact same color as my Ferrari. That’s so coincidental.
– My name is Fred Flinstone, because I can sure make your bed rock.

– Hey, is your refrigerator running? [pause] Because I really want to fuck you.

We assume absolutely NO responsibility or culpability

Now with your newly acquired arsenal of fornication-worthy one-liners, go snag your mate and enjoy a night that started with a borderline misogynistic catchphrase!!