My eyes widen, and a patriotic spark awakens
My senses, as though of Coca-Cola I had drunk,
Or inhaled a Big-Mac with four slices of bacon.
One minute passed, and then these words I had thunk:
“Tis not through hatred of the ugly lot,
but being too happy in thy ugliness,-
That thou, star-spangled cardigan of wool,
In some melodious plot
Of patchwork art, and flags numberless (aka 2),
Singest of America the beautiful.
An Ode to the Olympic Sweater
24 Jan- Comments Leave a Comment
- Categories General Heinous, Sports
- Author Ammonia$ta Dribbling
Sherman Ave Freshman Guide: Hooking Up
22 AugTags: 8, A.S.S., action, adequate performance, alternative, apologizing, attractive, Attractiveness Standardized Scale, awkward exchange of knowing glances, Barry White, beaches, beds, beer pong, breakfast, brooding stare, Burger King, carnal sexual relations on the lakefill, casual, college, confusion, contingencies, conversational goals, couches, crying, Cupid, dance floor hookups, dancing, darker, easy, egos, fast, fear, feigning interest, frat party, French gymnast, Freshman Guide, funny, gardens, get your swag on, hammocks, healthy, heartbreak, heinous, Heroin, Hook up, Hooking up, hookups, inflatable bouncy castles, inhibitions, intelligent, Kardashians, Katy Perry, Lacoste, lacrosse, library, liquid courage, location, lover, LPs, maneuver, March through the Arch, mental preparedness, moment of triumph, Naperville, Northwestern, object of affection, passionate embraces, personality, Physical preparation, pinnie, plaid shorts, polo, pre-law, pregaming, pretentious, pumping keg beer, questioning, random, random hottie, razed, recipe for disaster, regret, reputation, romance, romantic activities, roofs, rumpled flannel, scant emotional attachment, seal the deal, self-esteem, sensitive, sexual tension, Sherman Ave, Sisyphean task, slampieces, snowflakes, spit your game, stable, subtlety, swag, target, The Keg, the next morning, Urban Outfitters, Velvet Underground, walk of shame, Want to come back to my place?, WoW account
- Comments 17 Comments
- Categories Freshman Guide
- Author Stephen Rees
That’s right, we tweet too
Error: Please make sure the Twitter account is public.
Recent Posts
Top Posts
The Heinouses
- Alabaster Chevrolet
- azessar
- Charlotte Clunt
- cholub
- Clifford Scarlet
- Commandant Leo Sextoi
- Cobra Lederham
- Codine Banks
- Reverend Doctor Dee Dee Turlington, Esquire, Attorney at Law
- Detroit Slim
- Doctor Tattersail
- Dolphintail Espinoza
- Elder Tickles
- Eleanor Kinkervoss
- Stephen Rees
- Felicity Jenkins
- Felix Jortex
- Frank, The Guardian of Pain
- Ammonia$ta Dribbling
- horatiofourgasm
- Hudson River
- Blaise Bernard
- Jameson the Manatee
- Jasper Cartwright
- Clint Taurus
- ~Lady Keystone~
- Toaster Oven
- Manua Hiki-Hiki
- mattbaron
- Sir Edward Twattingworth III
- Ross Packingham
- ParrtyCat
- Lumberjack Steve
- Phil Dickelson
- Pip Sleazy
- Prof. J. Reginald Vandernips
- Prince Giblets
- Samwise Donkenstein
- Scurvy Jacobson
- Sherman Ave
- Smangston Hughes
- Sparky Brownwhistle
- Sperry Mae Woodpecker
- Virgil Goldstaff
- Marietta Von Festering
- Walter Klondike™