The First 13 Ways I Found Out I Wasn’t Normal

(via hangingoutpost.blogspot.com)

1. I enjoy eating alone. With my headphones on. With the song “November Rain” by Guns N’ Roses playing. On repeat. On full volume.

2. When a friend tries to start a conversation with me, my first thought is “This is not how life is supposed to go down. I am supposed to start talking to you. MAKE YOUR FACE STOP SAYING WORDS!” Then I run out of the dining hall because I need to google “how to talk to friends” in order to figure out what I did wrong.

3. When I take a shower, I like to cut off large chunks of my hair because it just doesn’t feel right on my head. Then when people ask if I got a haircut,

Prince Emerges From Duchess Kate’s Womb

Womb Raider

At approximately 4:30pm this afternoon, renowned musical artist Prince emerged from the womb of Duchess Kate Middleton at St. Mary’s Hospital in London, sources report.

While there has been considerable hype leading to the birth of Middleton’s child, few were expecting Prince, a 55-year-old racially ambiguous man from Minnesota, to slide out of her uterus this afternoon.

“I must admit I’m a bit surprised,” said Kate Middleton.  “I knew that my son would be someone great, and, er, I know some people think he is great at some things sometimes.”