1) The US News & World Report will rank Northwestern in the Top 10 Best Schools in the Nation.
Opening date: June 20 2014, THE EXACT MOMENT Commencement ends. (via The Daily Northwestern)
2) The University will purchase 25 new safe ride cars.
3) The new student center and lakeside athletic facilities will be built literally overnight, complete with sports bar.
4) Morty will commission a Continue reading
Hey guys,
Let me start out by saying that I know y’all have a tough job. I get it, homies. Main Library is a large, confusing building and also one of the ugliest things ever conceived by the human mind. And, as far as I can tell, the facilities management staff has zero employees. So I understand that you have kind of a tall mountain to climb in your quest to, you know, do your job.
But Jesus CHRIST guys. I don’t know that I’ve been witness to so much rampant incompetence and obvious lack of hustle since I saw JerShon Cobb wearing a “Lazy but Talented” shirt in Plex dining hall[1]. And I think maybe we need to talk about it. Continue reading
Northwestern has its signifiers and catchphrases (“Go ‘Cats” “Purple Pride” “Chicago’s Big Ten School” or “The Ivy of the Midwest”) but it’s about time Northwestern had its own solid all-encompassing and honest slogan. I’ve provided a few suggestions.
(When you read this list, say “Northwestern” before you read the slogan. It adds to the experience. Just do it.) Continue reading
Dear Class of 2017,
Three short years ago the class of 2014 shuffled at the pace of a dehydrated desert tortoise because everyone’s parents felt the need to take photos every five steps marched through the arch and commenced the drunk, sweaty adventure that was Wildcat Welcome 2010. In a few weeks, we’re really looking forward to sitting on our front porches, drinking beer that isn’t Busch Light, and watching you wander aimlessly as you try to find that awesome party near the corner of Maple and Simpson.
Sherman Ave 