1. You’ve been through tougher winters than most of the people you know.
Evanston in the winter. Can you even recognize it?
2. You’re no stranger to all the great dining and shopping options Evanston’s downtown has to offer.
Don’t you love Downtown Evanston?
What I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.
Dear Asshats,
As you’re no doubt aware, and we know you’re no doubt aware because you’ve been counting down every frickin’ minute since last June, Northwestern’s Mayfest is at the end of this week. Dildo day or whatever the eff. Haha Dildo. See what I did there? Said a dirty word. High five, Carl.
Now I know that you think this is the one day of the year where there’s an understanding between us and… you people… regarding the consumption of the devil’s water and the shouting of the word ‘blowjob.’ Like somehow we’ll be ok with you crossing Sheridan Road into out territory.
We’ve killed people for less.
Sherman Ave 