The Top Ten Reasons You And Your Girlfriend Are Going To Break Up

Bro it’s not looking good bro

1. She’s no longer impressed by your ability to eat an entire Little Caesar’s Hot-N-Ready.

2. She doesn’t twerk for you anymore.

3. She still twerks, though.

4. She broke her phone and did not include you on her “Broke My Phone and Need New Numberz” group message.

Man Arrested After Using Song Lyrics as Pick-Up Lines

Added Hill, “It seems to work for Chet Haze.”

LOS ANGELES — David Hill was arrested last Saturday after attempting to use lyrics from former chart-topping hits to pick up women. Years of failed attempts to “seal the deal” led him to try this tactic with hopes of finally impressing the ladies.

“He came up behind me and told me to ‘give [him] everything tonight, because we might not get tomorrow,'” one victim reported. Another pepper-sprayed Hill after he allegedly said to her “tonight I’m fucking you.”

“I told her I didn’t mean to be rude,” Hill stated in front of the court on Tuesday during his arraignment procedure. “I figured, these famous artists are getting mad pussy with these lines, so why can’t I do the same?”

A hefty fine and six restraining orders later, it seems Hill may have learned his lesson: “I get it now, those lyrics can seem a little rape-y when taken out of context. In the future I think I’ll steer clear of rap songs. Maybe I’ll try out a little country instead.”