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Student Creates Spotify Playlist to Pretend to Like Chance The Rapper

4 Apr

Chance_The_Rapper_2013EVANSTON, Il. —Following Mayfest’s announcement that Chance The Rapper will appear as the 2014 Dillo Day Daytime Headliner, Northwestern University junior Marc Dennis listened the top 4 Spotify search results for ‘chance rapper’, figuring this would allow him to pretend he liked Chance The Rapper.

Dennis, who skimmed the first half of each song in a new Spotify playlist titled “chance dillo”, is the rising Chicago-based hip hop artist’s self-proclaimed biggest fan.

“I’m so psyched he’s coming. I love all of his stuff,” reported Dennis enthusiastically about Chance The Rapper. “His new album is so sick,” continued Dennis, supposedly referring to the critically acclaimed mix-tape Acid Rap which was predominantly featured in the Spotify playlist.

Dennis, who could be seen mouthing the lyrics to, “Cocoa Butter Kisses,” while scrolling over the Rap Genius lyrics page for the song, reports that Chance is, “even better in concert.”

Dennis is apparently thrilled that Chance has been booked so far in advance, as he knew only the lyrics to the chorus “Black and Yellow” during Wiz Khalifa’s 2013 Dillo performance which was announced only days before the event.

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If you enjoyed this thing that we wrote that has stuff in it, you should apply to make your own stuff with things in it for us!!!

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The Top Ten Wikipedia Wormholes

3 Feb

When’s the last time you wikipedia-ed the living shit out a random subject just for the sake of learning? Hold on, what? Never? Ok

Let it take control.  You are powerless against it's magnificent aura.

Let it take control. You are powerless against its magnificent aura.

fine, asshole. When’s the last time you wikipedia-ed the living shit out a random subject just for the sake of procrastinating? Yesterday? That’s what I fucking thought, douchenozzle.

But how do you know that you’re getting the most out of your Wikipedia experience? Have you ever thought that maybe the shit you Wikipedia is boring and that, much like everything about your life, you are also boring? Yo quit yelling, it’s chill. We’re here to set things straight. Continue reading

Thank You

1 Sep

Dearest Readers,

Mommy, what's a "drilldo?"

For those of you who weren’t subjected to our excessive Facebook power-tripping, it is our esteemed honor to tell you that August was a record month for Sherman Ave. We had over 15,000 hits, launching us over 30,000 all time. In addition, we had a record day of 2,314 views (although to be fair, most of those were probably bored freshman sitting at home and/or teenagers looking up historically-inspired pornography). Accordingly, we would like to give back to you all with a reward of bonus atrociousness, although this time not directly from ourselves. Below is a list of our personal top five phrases that, when searched, brought someone to Sherman Ave in August.

5. “Rebecca Black tits”

4. “Sexually excited cartoon wolf”

3. “Who Framed Roger Rabbit Porn Videos”

2. “NZ all black having sex with a sheep”

1. www.womangettingfucksawed.com

Yeah. It’s a pretty fucked up world. And apparently we owe Professor Bailey a thank you note.

Love, Peace, and Heinousness,
The Sherman Ave Writers