Terrified Senior Ecstatic Northwestern Gets Out So Much Later Than Other Schools

Realizing that the steady, inevitable march of time had brought him to the brink of graduating and the horrifying prospect of life in the real world, Weinberg senior Brandon Grammer reported last week that he was extremely glad, euphoric even, that Northwestern students get out a full month later than their semester school counterparts.

“Yeah, all my friends are posting sad statuses and snapchat stories about how bummed the are to be graduating,” Grammer said, sweat dripping from his brow as his eyes nervously darted across the room. “TOTAL suckers AMIRIGHT?!?”

Grammer, who

Sherman Ave Interviews: Alexis Maxwell

(via CBS)

Did you know that there was a Northwestern senior on Survivor? We do. We interviewed her. Alexis Maxwell represented us ‘Cats on Season 28 of Survivor, which pitted Brains against Brawns against Beauties. Alexis put her SESP and psychology skills to the test in the Beauty tribe before she was ultimately voted off the show. While she may not have won the million dollar prize, Alexis captured the hearts of creepy men on twitter, past Survivor contestants, and two of our heinous writers:

Smangston Hughes: So should we refer to you as Alexis or Alexis-Maxwell-That-Girl-in-Theta-on-Survivor? Which do you prefer?

Alexis: (Laughs) You could cut the Theta part.

Smangston Hughes: Perfect. So besides Dillo Day, how did your Northwestern experience help prepare you for Survivor?

Point/Counterpoint: I’ve Decided to Stop Drinking vs. WHO WANTS TO DO SHOTS?!?

Point

I’ve Decided To Stop Drinking

by Kevin Greenberg

I think I’ve reached my limit. It’s been a fun ride but it’s time the rubber hits the road and I curb my drinking. I know I’m going to miss going downtown on Saturdays and hanging with Greg on Thirsty Thursdays, but I just don’t have time for that kind of stuff anymore. I’m finishing up my senior year and I know it’s time to buckle down to make sure I’m ready to graduate and get a job.

The years really have flown by. One night you go to bed at 5 a.m., a freshman with nothing to lose, and the next morning you wake up at 8 a.m., a senior about to step into the real world. It really hits you hard.

Places You Can and Can’t Meet Potential Love Interests at Northwestern

Maybe you’re a freshman looking for your first shot at college love, or maybe you’re a McCormick senior looking to kiss a girl for the first time – in either case, it’s difficult finding the right place on campus where you can meet a potential romantic partner. However, in efforts to increase the sad amounts of love and lovin’ on the Northwestern campus, Sherman Ave has put together a guide to which Northwestern locations are love-friendly.

Deering Library

Nope.

Graduating High School Senior Writes Hand-Written Love Letter to Crush

Lavecki included, along with the letter, the above photo of the sun rising over Lake Michigan, with the caption “one of us is the sun, one the city.”

GROSSE POINTE, MI – With only a few weeks before he is set to begin a new life at college, recently graduated high school senior Michael Lavecki has decided to “go for broke” with his long time crush Jessica Peterson-Caruso – by writing for her a hand-scribed, deeply confessional letter, detailing the vast array of feelings he has and has had for her for the last four years of his life.

“After this, dude, things are gonna be totally different,” he commented. “After she reads this letter, she’s finally gonna realize that what she’s wanted has been in front of her all along.”