Northwestern Tour Guide Applications are due tomorrow. Here’s a copy of one Sherman Ave writer’s last-second application.
7 digit student ID number : 696969!
Attach a picture of yourself to this application
1. Why do you want to be a part of the Tour Guide Community?
From an early age, I have had an insatiable desire to walk backwards while talking to high-achieving high school students and their overbearing parents.
Jackie Robinson breaking the color barrier in baseball. Rosa Parks refusing to give up her seat on the bus. Martin Luther King having a dream. Barack Obama winning the presidency. All of us are familiar with the work that trailblazers like these and so many others accomplished to move beyond our nation’s racial divisions. Now, I am proud to announce that we can inscribe two more names on to this prestigious list, for country singer Brad Paisley has teamed up with rap icon/NCIS: Los Angeles star LL Cool J to finally eradicate black-white tensions. If you were at all concerned that America in 2013 had still not achieved a truly post-racial society, then boy, do I have news for you! Ladies and gentlemen, I give you “Accidental Racist.”
“To the man who waited on me
at the Starbucks down on Main
I hope you understand”
It appears that Brad Paisley knows of exactly one black person, and it is a minimum-wage earner at a coffee chain. And he has dedicated a song to this one black person. What could go wrong?
Sherman Ave 