An Ode to Flappy Bird (in Sonnet Form)

(via androidpit.com)

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?

The passions thou inspirest in me are as hot

But summer, in its endless glory, makes me rather gay

Whereas thine sensitivity makes’t me wish to get shot.

Betwixt green channels I hope you soar

My thumb’s mere press sends you amongst pipes

But now, as for ornithology, I cannot study it any more

I must empty the birdfeeder, for I have some gripes.

Double digits evade me; my maximum score won’t rise

I tap and tap, will thou not reward my labors?

I am addicted – I must play – I shant compromise

Or shall I? I have had enough. Your uninstalling I savor.

AND NOW, STUPID GAME, I DEMAND TO BE HEARD

THIS IS WHAT I HAVE TO SAY: FUCK YOU, FLAPPY BIRD.

Graduating High School Senior Writes Hand-Written Love Letter to Crush

Lavecki included, along with the letter, the above photo of the sun rising over Lake Michigan, with the caption “one of us is the sun, one the city.”

GROSSE POINTE, MI – With only a few weeks before he is set to begin a new life at college, recently graduated high school senior Michael Lavecki has decided to “go for broke” with his long time crush Jessica Peterson-Caruso – by writing for her a hand-scribed, deeply confessional letter, detailing the vast array of feelings he has and has had for her for the last four years of his life.

“After this, dude, things are gonna be totally different,” he commented. “After she reads this letter, she’s finally gonna realize that what she’s wanted has been in front of her all along.”