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Tag Archives: stress-relief

7 Reasons Yoga Is the Worst

9 Apr
The Alpine Yogagoat, in its natural habitat. (via izismile.com)

The Alpine Yogagoat, in its natural habitat. (via izismile.com)

Every year or so, I try yoga again.

It takes me about a year to forget exactly how fucking much I hate yoga. Over that year, my friends have peppered our conversations with fantastical stories of their “relaxing!” and “stress-relieving!” yoga sessions. Then there’s a moment in which I watch some betch’s yoga ass walk by and I start thinking about how cool it would be to Instagram photos of myself standing on my head in scenic locations, if I ever went to scenic locations, if I even had an Instagram. And I find myself with an hour to spare, shamelessly Googling “yoga for beginners” alone in my bedroom.

It takes me an hour to remember exactly how fucking much I hate yoga.

  1. “Now breathe.”

You condescending prick, I don’t need to be reminded to breathe. I’m sitting here laying on my back. There’s nothing else to do except Continue reading

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