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Tag Archives: student section

Shurned Out: Riding the Bubble at Northwestern

23 Feb

Apparently he didn’t appreciate the five-foot pictures of his face in the crowd.

Last Saturday, John Shurna broke Northwestern’s career scoring record, surpassing Billy McKinny‘s 1,900 career points with a three-pointer against Minnesota. Last weekend I set a career personal high score of 18,310 points in BrickBreaker, but nobody made much of a fuss about it.* Or even a t-shirt.

As Northwestern basketball fans are starting to realize, life on the bubble of the NCAA tournament is a lot like what I’m assuming drunk sex with your pledge wife would be like: you hold your breath and hope that everything magically falls into place to bring about a wondrous sensation you’ve never felt before, but you’re really just waiting for something to go horribly awry and inevitably ruin everything you hold dear. There will probably be a lot of crying in the end no matter what.

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Sherman Ave Freshman Guide: Sporting Events

30 Aug

Intimidating the Big 10 since…

Editor’s note: This “article” first appeared in 2011 and has not in any way been updated at all since then oops. We’ll call it a flashback or something and many of the lessons still apply.

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I’m going to go out on a limb and say that when you chose to come to Northwestern over the University of Crapcago, you did not decide to do so because of NU athletics.

See, this one time, Northwestern football decided to lose 34 straight games just for fun. And then, this other time, Northwestern basketball decided to never make the NCAA Tournament. As a joke. And it’s really fucking funny.

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