Tag Archives: stupid babies

Why Babies Are The Worst

25 Feb

Have you seen this post? You’ve probably seen this post. It’s on this great new investigative journalism site called Buzzing-Feed. And it was written by an NU alum, Matt Bellassai! Yeah, of “Matt N Jazzy” fame! Fun stuff.

Here’s another fun fact: this post misses the whole point. Kids aren’t the worst. Kids are bad, but they aren’t the worst. BABIES are the actual worst. See, kids go to school and play sports and join clubs and basically get out of your hair every once in a while. Babies don’t. And that makes them the worst, for the following reasons:

1. Babies don’t know anything. They literally know absolutely nothing. If you ask a baby its name, it won’t tell you. Because it doesn’t know. It’ll probably just burp up on itself, and then you’ll have to clean that up but you still won’t know the baby’s name. Continue reading

The Seven People You Meet At Thanksgiving

21 Nov

Every Thanksgiving, college students across the nation make the trek home to see their parents, wash their clothes and stuff their facemouths with mashed potatoes that DON’T come from a box. Even at Northwestern, where we get a whole 48 hours off from midterms to give thanks, many students make their way back to their homes for the Halfway To Christmas Feast.

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