Point/Counterpoint: I’ve Decided to Stop Drinking vs. WHO WANTS TO DO SHOTS?!?

Point

I’ve Decided To Stop Drinking

by Kevin Greenberg

I think I’ve reached my limit. It’s been a fun ride but it’s time the rubber hits the road and I curb my drinking. I know I’m going to miss going downtown on Saturdays and hanging with Greg on Thirsty Thursdays, but I just don’t have time for that kind of stuff anymore. I’m finishing up my senior year and I know it’s time to buckle down to make sure I’m ready to graduate and get a job.

The years really have flown by. One night you go to bed at 5 a.m., a freshman with nothing to lose, and the next morning you wake up at 8 a.m., a senior about to step into the real world. It really hits you hard.

Sherman Ave Freshman Guide: The 13 Types of People You’ll Meet in College

Not listed: That Guy.

1. The Walking College Stereotype

Every sitcom and movie involving college students likes to portray them as rigidly focused students looking for their way in life during the day, and uncontrollable party animals at night. On Wednesday days at 3 A.M., they’re at the library struggling to stay awake – and on Saturday nights they’re at the bar struggling to stay standing. They’ll pull at least two all-nighters every week, eat ramen or fast food for every lunch and dinner, and get blackout drunk every weekend. Some people are like this for the first couple weeks of their freshman year – and others are this person for the entirety of their college lives; however, one thing is certain: you will come across someone like this at some point in college.

2. Mr. or Mrs. Pre-Professional

This person is always working towards some goal that they had in their childhood.  They’re in the pre-med class, the pre-med fraternity, the pre-med club, and even the pre-med field hockey team. It’s impossible to talk to this person without eventually hearing “When I’m a doctor,” or “When I’m at Harvard Law.” The entirety of their life revolves around their future, and they won’t let you forget it.

The Hangover Cure That Never Fails

Pictured: You, tomorrow morning

Up until I turned 21, I could drink myself into oblivion as often as I wanted and never once woke up to find my body telling me that I had too much fun the night before, a dreaded condition commonly known as the hangover. But mother nature has a sick sense of humor, and since then seems to delight in watching me suffer every morning after I drunkenly belt “Afternoon Delight” on my walk home from telling a group of strangers my most embarrassing secrets.