How to Avoid the In-Class Creeper

Want to come back to my place and finish our discussion on Freudian Theory?

Recently, I was at a party with my gals dancing the night away, celebrating being done with yet another quarter of my godforsaken Spanish class, when a sweaty guy from my class came up to me and started a conversation. It went as so:

Boy: Ammonia$ta?! [puts an arm around my shoulder and drunkenly leans on me] Totally didn’t recognize you! You’re like, actually attractive!

A$: Uh…thanks?

Boy: Yeah like…how come you don’t come to class looking like this? Totally would have hit on you.

A$: Oh uh… [trying to get out from under his arm without making him fall over] I’m just lazy I guess.”

Boy: [Laughs because he thinks I was joking and walks away]

Introducing: The Sherman Ave Swag Shoppe

Could it be…!?

Has Northwestern’s premier political/historical/alcoholic-humor blog finally started up a capitalistic endeavor designed to raise enough money to pay off their gambling IOU’s from last year’s Northwestern-University of Chicago Women’s Ice Hockey match by selling you shit with their name emblazoned across it!?

That’s RIGHT!

Sherman Ave has got a great new Swag Shoppe just for you heinous kids running amok in downtown Evanston. Protest authority, sexual mores, your shitty TA, Illinois drinking laws, and more with our brand new merchandise line!

With an ever increasing range of products, there’s sure to be something to please you!

From shirts to sweatpants, we’ll try to cover up as much of your body as possible. Want bootylicious lingerie? We’ve got it. Want to proudly display your affection for Morty or underage drinking at the Keg? We’ve got just the shirts for you.

We even have a bandanna to gag you with if you open your mouth!

Too far? Well, we guess that’s just #HEINOUS.

Check out the new Sherman Ave Swag Shoppe HERE!!!