Wimbledon Drinking Game

Wait. Tennis looks fun.

Despite the great weather in Chicago following the Blackhawks rally, citizens are filled with an inner gloom due to the lack of worthy sports teams to cheer for.* What are we supposed to do, watch the U.S. Women’s Golf Open? Turn on any golf tournament and I bet you’re asleep in 15 minutes. Too bad there’s no Olympics this year….but wait! Remember that one time you actually watched tennis during the Olympics because AMERICA! ? Through your series of U-S-A chants and shots of UV Blue taken from your red solo cups, you were probably amazed by the fact tennis can be played on grass. Well, guess what. There’s a tournament on those awesome grass courts every year! It’s called The Championships, or more commonly Wimbledon, and it is amazing. If watching tennis is only your thing during the Olympics, let me help make it your thing as Wimbledon enters its second week with ALCOHOL. That’s right–I present to you the very first “The Blackhawks Rally is Over and Now I’m Forced to Watch Tennis Drinking Game”.

Ass Cheese

We’re really banking on some mistaken clicks here…

If I had to name something that completely consumed my life in high school it would be tennis. Tennis…and cheese. I often dreamt about what it would be like to be a professional tennis player–winning Grand Slams, makin’ millions, dating some male model who doesn’t even speak my native tongue (sarcasm). It would be THE LIFE, and dreaming about what I could do with my millions is what got me through all those heinously boring matches in which I had to play girls I could probably beat playing lefty, blindfolded, at the age of four.