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Tag Archives: The Keg

29 Things that will Happen at Northwestern Just After You Graduate

12 Feb

1) The US News & World Report will rank Northwestern in the Top 10 Best Schools in the Nation.

Opening date: June 21, 2014, THE EXACT MOMENT Commencement ends. (via The Daily Northwestern)

Opening date: June 20 2014, THE EXACT MOMENT Commencement ends. (via The Daily Northwestern)

2) The University will purchase 25 new safe ride cars.

3) The new student center and lakeside athletic facilities will be built literally overnight, complete with sports bar.

4) Morty will commission a Continue reading

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Letter to the editor, from the editors

4 Feb

Please reference Vitamin C for additional ambiance:

Sometimes you start a blog your freshman year just for the hell of it. And sometimes, if you’re lucky, that blog grows in to one of the most important facets of your life, picking up over 50 additional writers along the way and garnering thousands of readers who, for some godforsaken reason, seem to enjoy our heinous publication.

Three years ago, I started Sherman Ave with the idea of making a site devoted to the culture of Evanston and Chicago. Peter Stein and Sir Edward Twattingworth III came along not much later, and took things to a whole new level. The next year brought a new generation of Aviators, including Chandler Dutton, who immediately became one of the site’s most important writers, editors, and leaders.

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2012 Sherman Ave Readers’ Poll: Results

1 Jan

If there’s one thing Sherman Ave prides itself on, it’s follow through. That, and our stunning mastery of the entire AP U.S. History Flashcard set. So, in the hopes of amping you up to take the 2013 Sherman Ave Readers’ Poll, here are the results of last year’s 2012 Sherman Ave Readers’ Poll. Enjoy the blast from the heinous past.

Most Heinous Event of 2012

With 18% of the vote, the winner was: Evanston revoking the Keg’s liquor license. The Keg may not have survived the wrath of Tizzy, but it did manage to eke out a one-vote victory over the advent of #YOLO, followed closely by the I Agree With Markwell campaign and the notorious Vandy seal clubbing scandal. Rest in peace, old friend. We swear to hold you forever in our memory by linking to this every goddamn opportunity we get.

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An Open Letter to the Northwestern Class of 2018

13 Dec

AHHHHHHYEAAAAAAYYYYY YOU’RE GOING TO NERDWESTERN NORTHWESTERN NORTHWASTED !!!!!

Congratulations. Sincerely. You took 7 or 8 AP exams and scored somewhere 33+ on your ACT* You wrestled away your school’s student presidency from that fucking bitch Katie Taylor and you sacrificed a healthy sleep schedule for that batch of A pluses.

And now,

It’s all paid off.

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Sherman Ave Goes One Full Month Without Mayor Tisdahl-Themed Column

5 Nov

EVANSTON, Ill. – As of noon local time today, local college-based humor site and Northwestern cultural touchstone Sherman Ave has not published an article about Elizabeth Tisdahl on its page for one entire month – the longest amount of time ever between Tisdahl-themed articles.

The website, founded by Evander Jones in 2010 that has amassed nearly Continue reading

Sherman Ave Interviews: Renee Engeln-Maddox (Part 1 of 2)

29 Sep

Earlier this summer, Sherman Ave editors Ross Packingham and Sir Edward Twattingworth III interviewed Psychology professor and Allison Hall live-in Renee Engeln-Maddox at Sherman Ave Headquarters.  If any cultural references seem slightly out of date, it’s because that’s what happens when we decide to wait to publish interviews for three months due to reasons.

Renee, shortly after releasing what a terrible, terrible mistake it was to agree to an interview with us.

Renee, shortly after realizing what a terrible, terrible mistake it was to agree to an interview with us.

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Packingham: We noticed you didn’t bring your dog to his interview… Is he gonna make it, or…?

Renee: He’s visiting Grandma right now, actually.

Twattingworth: Well, all of our questions were for him, soooo…

Renee: Oh, do you want me to leave? He doesn’t really know many words, though. Plus he would get dog hair all over your apartment.

Packingham: Probably not the worst thing this apartment has been through.

Twattingworth: This is actually the cleanest it’s looked in weeks.

Renee: This is… Um. You cleaned?

Twattingworth: A lot.

Renee [pointing to where we stashed the beer pong cups]: Meaning you stashed the beer pong cups in a row?

Twattingworth: Well that cup used to be over here.

Packingham: Do you watch Game of Thrones?

Renee: Mhm, I unfortunately got really excited about the new season and I yelled to my Psychopathology class, Continue reading

Sherman Ave Freshman Guide: Living In Allison Hall

5 Sep

Oh, you just found out you were assigned to Allison Hall for your freshman year? Wellll then, CONGRATULATIONS YOU JUST WON. EVERYTHING.

For starters, this place is a hotel. Seriously. Some witty, clever students have even taken to calling it… Continue reading

Places You Can and Can’t Meet Potential Love Interests at Northwestern

18 Aug

Maybe you’re a freshman looking for your first shot at college love, or maybe you’re a McCormick senior looking to kiss a girl for the first time – in either case, it’s difficult finding the right place on campus where you can meet a potential romantic partner. However, in efforts to increase the sad amounts of love and lovin’ on the Northwestern campus, Sherman Ave has put together a guide to which Northwestern locations are love-friendly.

Deering Library

Deering Library

Nope.

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A Wildly Inaccurate Biography of Mayor Elizabeth Tisdahl: Part 2

4 Aug

Part 1 of A Wildly Inaccurate Biography of Mayor Elizabeth Tisdahl

In the summer of 1962, a young man named Willie walks out of a liquor store carrying two cases of Bud Light and a handle of Congress vodka. He struggles under the weight of his purchases, lumbering uneasily toward a purple and white Chevy Impala parked 30 feet from the clear glass doors.

After depositing his booze in the trunk, being sure to bring five cans of beer up to the front seat with him, he slides the key into the ignition. The engine sputters for a moment and then roars to life. Willie wastes no time in speeding out into the cool night air, shotgunning a can of beer all the while.

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Mayoral Sexting Scandal Strikes Evanston

29 Jul

Evanston, IL–In a shocking turn of events, embedded Sherman Ave reporters have recently uncovered that the mayor of the City of Evanston, Elizabeth Gertrude Tisdahl, has been involved in a tawdry sexting scandal with some of Evanston’s most elite and respected community members. And while much has yet to be discovered, the Pacemaker-nominated researchers at Sherman Ave have been able to access transcripts of several of the exchanges (below).

Disclaimer: The following information is not safe for work. Please proceed with caution.

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