A Line-By-Line Analysis of Selena Gomez’s “Love Will Remember” Feat. Voicemail From Justin

Like that couple whose Facebook walls read like a day-to-day update of how much they love each other at that moment, Justin and Selena just can’t seem to stop writing songs about each other. Unlike status-happy couples, she apparently gave him a heads-up that it was coming.

Hey babe it’s me, I just wanted to call to tell you that I love you so so so so much – just wanted to let you know that you are my princess, you are worthy of all of the love in the world, you are the love of my life. [1]

Gomez begins her song not with her own voice but with a literal quote from the JBiebz, to remind the listener that this song is definitely written for him. In another interpretation, Justin Bieber got drunk and tried to be Sinatra, and Selena heard the echoes of a killer marketing strategy.

A Line-by-Line Analysis of Miley Cyrus’ “We Can’t Stop”

Miley Cyrus, daughter of notable country star and probable redneck Billy Ray Cyrus, has long been an object of media scrutiny.  However, she has changed all of this with the release of her new video “We Can’t Stop.”  This video sets Miley apart, as she takes on subject matters rarely heard in pop music such as partying, and hooking up with others.  However, not all of us are smart and mature enough to understand Miley, because she’s really artsy and mature now and we just don’t understand her because she’s that fucking deep.  So as someone who took an english class once[1], I’ll do the service of explaining this magnificent song elucidating its meaning to those not capable of understanding.[2]

Album Review: Brown Sugar’s “Zamaane”

Some say that a cappella at Northwestern is like the TV show Glee. But that can’t be, because the kids on Glee bagged football players and couldn’t drink for shit, which we all know doesn’t hold true for acca-biddies and acca-bros at Northwestern.

Others posit that a cappella at Northwestern is more like Community. Marginally popular–but not enough to get people to care enough to watch every performance–and irrationally beloved among the theater community.

While all these theories and more may be true, it’s clear after the first listen that Brown Sugar‘s latest album Zamaane situates Brown Sugar as the Mad Men of a cappella at NU: Genre-defining, poignant, sexy in all the right places, and best after a glass of scotch or five.  Just so long as you ignore the fact that the Mad Men cast is more white-washed than Mitt Romney’s book group and Brown Sugar is, well, the nation’s premiere co-ed South Asian collegiate a cappella group.