Hope OSU isn’t too turned off by NU’s “Two QBs, One Cup” routine
Dear Ohio State,
As you may have noticed, we’re getting pretty excited for An Ohio State University to come to town and play under the lights on national television. Our students may even take a break from studying for their midterms to tailgate on Saturday, although that may be just to pick out which of your visiting fans would make excellent employees for us to lay off once we’re hired after graduation.
Apparently a massive event, referred to only as “Gameday,” is coming to town, bringing a festive experience where Lee Corso attempts to escape the chilling existential dread of his impending death with a seemingly boundless supply of iconoclasm and viagra while Herbie mournfully stares off into the distance, reminiscing about his lost love Erin Andrews and trying to remember how to string two sentences together.
Dear Syracuse,
Back so soon? Funny, I could have sworn it was just last year that Fitz and the Wildcats came into the Carrier Dome and fucked you silly. I guess there must have been something magical about that hot and sweaty Prose Bowl, because here you are in Evanston, back for more of Northwestern’s 19th-ranked carnal manhood.
Don’t ask what the lightsaber’s for.
Dear Cal,
I know we’ve only seen each other once before, but apparently the thorough dicking you received during the Truman administration was so great you couldn’t help but ask us to come back for more.
So here we are, yet again, the Gator Bowl Champion Wildcats visiting Berkeley for the first time since the Soviets went all nuclear and since the sad hippie burnout Golden Bears last retained any sense of national relevance. And this time, Fitz and his 22nd nationally-ranked crew come bearing a message:
Get fucked Cal.
Sherman Ave 