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Tag Archives: twerk

The Top Ten Reasons You And Your Girlfriend Are Going To Break Up

18 Nov
Bro it's not looking good bro

Bro it’s not looking good bro

1. She’s no longer impressed by your ability to eat an entire Little Caesar’s Hot-N-Ready.

2. She doesn’t twerk for you anymore.

3. She still twerks, though.

4. She broke her phone and did not include you on her “Broke My Phone and Need New Numberz” group message.

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Sherman Ave Interviews: Renee Engeln-Maddox (Part 2 of 2)

30 Sep

Earlier this summer, Sherman Ave editors Ross Packingham and Sir Edward Twattingworth III interviewed Psychology professor and Allison Hall live-in Renee Engeln-Maddox at Sherman Ave Headquarters.  If any cultural references seem slightly out of date, it’s because that’s what happens when we decide to wait to publish interviews for three months due to reasons.

Read Part 1 here.

The professor who will forever be remembered as "the one who couldn't remember twerk or flabongo."

The professor who will forever be remembered as “the one who couldn’t remember twerk or flabongo.”

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Packingham: When someone asks you what courses you teach, do you ever just go, “Intro to SIIIIIIKE!” and punch them in the genitals?

[silence]

Renee: If I’d thought of it…

Twattingworth: Follow-up, will you start doing that now?

Renee: Do I have to punch them? Cause that could hurt my back. What about like a kick? Or a knee? And I’d have to do the “SIIIIIIKE!” better than that. You need to get the “IIIIIIIII” a little higher.

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Scantily-Endowed Student Has Difficulty Dancing to “Bubble Butt”

9 Jul
Usher's her jam.

Usher’s her jam.

PALM BEACH–22-year-old Abby Palumbo is experiencing considerable difficulty dancing to Major Lazer’s recent single “Bubble Butt,” according to witness reports trickling in at 8:00 PM tonight. The beautiful and somewhat gangly Communications major says her awkwardness in executing the song’s demands is directly related to her body type’s incompatibility with the subject matter.

“I can do the ‘turn around’ part,” sighed Palumbo. But everything else…it’s like “My Humps” all over again.  I’ll be at the bar waiting for “Shorty Got Low,” I guess.”

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Mayor Tisdahl Appalled as Students Make Money by Dancing on Weekends

10 Mar

Mayor Tisdahl, trying to persuade the Evanston City Council to shut down Northwestern.

EVANSTON – Mayor Elizabeth Tisdahl expressed in a press conference this morning that she was “utterly shocked” to learn that over 1,000 Northwestern students earned money by dancing this weekend.

“I mean, I know that they’re just naive kids who like engaging in de–debauchery,” said the mayor.  “But dancing for money?  Come on now.  That’s just embarrassing to the university, and more importantly, this town.”

“Much more importantly,” muttered Mayor Tisdahl under her breath.

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