The Good, The Bad, and The Hordes of Drunk High Schoolers: A Review of Lolla 2013

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”

While this iconic line is best known for opening Charles Dickens’ famous novel, A Tale of Two Cities, few people realize that he originally used the phrase to describe his three-day drinking and drugs binge at the 19th-century Britain version of Lollapalooza, which I assume was headlined by Fleetwood Mac.

So here I sit miserably at my 9-to-5 job, wrecked after spending the last three days taking in everything my first music festival had to offer (except Steve Aoki, because fuck Steve Aoki).  I got up at 6:30 this morning to get to work, and I have a residual hangover that could slay a large family of oxen.  Looking back, would I do anything differently?

Yes.  I made horrible, horrible decisions this weekend.

Lolla was a blast, of course.  But wow, that place could not be more heinous.  So I guess it’s only fitting to reflect on this weekend by looking at both the positives and negatives of spending this weekend with my favorite 60,000

Companies Begin Bidding War on New Vampire Weekend Songs

The upcoming release of Vampire Weekend’s new album has incited a bidding war among major American companies, with the feeding frenzy for these hot pieces of Americana will only get more intense as the release date approaches, according to industry analysts.

Some in the industry, speaking on the condition of anonymity to admit they haven’t listened to the album, say that speculated players like Ralph Lauren and Toyota have entered the bidding sphere for the rights to use the songs in ads, and possible spending looks to climb to $10 or even $20 million dollars for the license rights to one of their toe-tapping, wallet-clutching beats. Sources at Bloomberg are saying they wouldn’t be surprised to see the songs enter into an IPO.

Vampire Weekend’s 2008 release sold nearly half a million copies, and more than a quarter million chandeliers.

Senior VP of Marketing for Ralph Lauren, Lauren Elkins, has already made a statement as to what Ralph Lauren will do with the song: “We’re thinking of taking a sepia-tinted photo montage of a girl growing up in Ralph Lauren clothes to the song Diane Young.”