This Northwestern student legitimately thought that grass was a myth created by the administration. (via mindbodygreen.com)
Winter Quarter makes you a bad person. There’s no way to fight it. It will inevitably bring out literally every single shitty aspect of yourself that you so desperately try to cover with layers of puffy clothing. So you Continue reading
(via northwestern.edu)
Listen up, Wildcats. Betches love to complain about winter in Evanston. It’s soooo cold. Rush is soooo boring. I don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day. Nobody will ever love me. I’m going to die alone surrounded by my cats and McKinsey and Company employee of the month awards. The passage near Kellogg is like totally a wind tunnel. I should have gone to Madison, it’s totally not this cold up there. My Wings Over order is taking sooooo long to get here. Where is my Honey BBQ? Where is the Frosbite Express??!??!?
I’m gonna stop you right there. Winter quarter is amazing, you just don’t know it yet. Here’s a rundown of all the reasons why January through March are a wonderful time to be a Wildcat:
It was never meant to be this way. Four rounds in to this heinous, heinous bracket challenge sponsored by Klondike®!, we’re left with just as much uncertainty as we began with. No one man, woman, or Vice President of Student Affairs could have conceived that we’d be here today, discussing the relative merits of banging your mother after going all Jack Ruby on good old pops Athenian Drama. Be honest, who could have foreseen Psych Stats smashing through the competition like Professor Gorvine on Miley’s wrecking ball? Sometimes it lasts in love, sometimes Food and Society is cut down in its prime, just one of the four #1 seeds dropped like you’ll be dropping Econometrics next quarter.
With the polls closed for the round of 16, the Elite 8 in Sherman Ave’s Distro of the Quarter 2K14 challenge–sponsored by Klondike®–is underway!
Finish the keg if that’s your dad.
It is officially Wednesday of Spring Break, and that means that, if you are having a good old staycation, you have been sober for far too long. That’s why Sherman Ave is here to make this Spring Break more fun for you with our official Sherman Ave Spring Break Drinking Game! Because, as they say, if you can’t be on vacation for Spring Break, get drunk!
Take one shot anytime one of the following happens:
Every time you find yourself watching an episode of Law and Order SVU
Every time a friend snapchats you a picture from an exotic place
Every time someone asks you what you are doing this year/summer/with your life
Every time you suspect you are the oldest person in a given establishment
Every time your parents ask you if you are seeing someone at school
Every time you finish a pint of ice cream
Every time you get roped into doing chores for your Mom
Every time you fall asleep before 11pm
Every time you watch The Game Show Network by choice
Every time you tell a story about school and omit how drunk/high you were
Every four-hour period you go without wearing pants
Every time you convince your parents to let you drink with dinner
Every time your pale, winter-quarter glow scares someone from home
Every time you revisit The Sims and make them Woo-hoo
Every time you see a FreeCreditReport.com commercial
TWO SHOT BONUSES FOR THE FOLLOWING:
If you realize the closest pot dealer to your house is a junior in high school
If you manage to hook up with the only other person home for spring break at the same time
If you can successfully avoid putting any effort into anything over the week of Spring Break
-Sloppy Burnside
Then again, I’d be depressed if I had to wear that cardigan.
Seasonal affect disorder is a thing. A REAL thing. I mean, the acronym is literally SAD so the shrinks who came up with it were either fucking with us or spent a half hour with a Northwestern student (read: me) and realized Googling “teach me how to be happy” and “people having a worse day than me” on a semi-regular basis are grounds to be concerned about mental stability. And this SADdness infiltrates your life in every way until the only thing saving you from full-blown depression is the knowledge that a repeat of House Hunters might be on later and that maybe the couple will be beautiful and loaded.
Sherman Ave 
