The Great Gatsby Movie Drinking Game

The first time I read The Great Gatsby I was all, “holy living shit that was good, but it’s kinda missing something?” Seven years later, it turns out that something is Lana del Rey. But this Friday all of my Baz Luhrmann-fueled dreams come true with the premiere of the 2014 Oscar winner for Best Picture Best Costumes, The Great Gatsby.

And while we appreciate the power of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s great American novel, we would be failing Jay Gatz thoroughly if we were anything less than West Egg Wasted by the time we leave the theater. So grab a bottle of your finest bootleg vodka, bring this list with you, and enjoy the show.

“I don’t care. I love it.” – Gatsby

Drink every time:

• Daisy is the definish of an anti-feminist

• You think, “Wow Baz I know this movie is about gratuitous excess, but honestly you really just overdid it here.”

• Leo DiCaprio should have won for The Aviator

• You get that deep feeling of simultaneous power and helplessness that only F. Scott can inspire. Take two more drinks if the first drink helped you ignore those annoying “feelings.”

• Bruce Springsteen’s “Glory Days” is applicable

• Miley Cyrus’s “Party In The USA” is applicable

• A green light is shown and you’re reminded that you used to believe in love

• Eckleberg’s eyes make you feel ashamed for not doing your philosophy readings

• It’s apparent that SOMEONE didn’t take driver’s ed very seriously >:-( #ugh

• “What foul dust floated in the wake of his dreams that temporarily closed out my interest in the abortive sorrows and short-winded elations of men” because jesus christ what a line

• Jay-Z’s music is used unironically in a movie about the failures of excess

• There’s a party and it looks really fun but actually you can totally tell that the main characters are having inner turmoil and are only PRETENDING to be having the time of their life

• The line “I’ve been drunk for about a week now, and I thought it might sober me up to sit in a library” reminds you just a little too much of Reading Week

• Wait but where’s Paul Rudd…?

Take one shot for:

• Every fratboy who shows up in Brooks Brothers at the theater

• Every death; take two if the death caught you by surprise

• Every person singing along to the soundtrack

• Every Michelle Williams who is somehow not playing Daisy

Finish your drink any time:

• Someone says, “I thought Catherine Zeta-Jones and that one scrunchy-faced chick were gonna be in this”

• Daisy says, “I actually do know what I want. In fact, I am fully capable of making a decision.”

• Your friend who never read the book says, “So he just added ‘bee’ to the end of his name and thought no one would figure out who he was…?”

• That stupid fucking backyard pool is shown

• A kid from Great Neck blurts out, “I LIVE THERE!!!!”