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A Beginner’s Guide to Yik Yak

1 May

Hi, New User! Welcome to Yik Yak. We encourage you to read the following FAQs before dedicating hours of your day to our app. We also encourage heavy involvement: don’t be intimidated by successful top commenters like Yak Daniels, Miss Mary Yak, or Yak Yak City. With this guide, you’ll receive self-gratification within minutes of shitting on your school and peers.

Yik_Yak_ICON

Q: What’s fair game to make fun of?

A: Oh, New User, you have much to learn. Anything’s fair game! Make sure to play out overused stereotypes as much as you can. Yakers can’t relate to anything besides overused stereotypes. Because, as everybody knows, stereotypes are concretely grounded in truth.

Q: Who should I Yak about?

A: Try to stick to Yaks about Greek life or prominent people in Greek life. Nobody wants to hear how your dumb friend vomited in Lisa’s. It doesn’t matter if you know these organizations or individuals because most Yakers will. 

Q: Where can I double check my facts?

A: Yak what you think is correct. Leave the accuracy to Collegiate ACB.

Q: How can I make sure my posts are funny?

A: Writing “lol” at the end of your yak makes it clear that humor is intended. You can also use the Yik Yak Handle feature to impersonate an individual or student organization. This is never not funny.

Q: I need likes to validate me. How can I use this app to fuel my ego?

A: Definitely promote your own yaks– it will lead to more upvotes. Who would upvote a yak with 0 votes? Lol geed.

Q: Is there any way to quantify my popularity on Yik Yak?

A: Yakarma! It’s an easy points scale to determine how horrendous of a human being you are.

Q: I want that. How do I get Yakarma?

A: Try calling a sorority fat or a fraternity gay. That usually works.

Q: But what if I wanted to move on from 7th grade?

A: Oh, then you should probably delete the app. 

Q: No.

A: Good choice.

Q: How often should I yak?

A: As often as you can! It doesn’t matter if the same joke has been made only minutes earlier. Yak away.

Q: How often should I be checking Yik Yak?

A: No fewer than six times each minute. Otherwise you might miss a joke about which fraternity gets with high schoolers.

Q: When will Yik Yak stop being cool?

A: By the time you finish reading this article, honestly.

Q: Will yakkers make fun of Sherman Ave for posting this?

A: Absolutely. They’re gonna call us geeds.

Q: What’s a geed?

A: Great Example of Extreme Dickishness.

Q: You’re lying.

A: I’m lying. Geed.

-Charlotte Clunt, Clint Taurus, Hudson River, Sir Edward Twattingworth III

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