ANN ARBOR, MI— Researchers at the University of Michigan concluded on Friday morning that no one gives a shit what your boyfriend got you for Valentine’s Day.
Results of the study indicated that 48% of those surveyed didn’t give a shit, 3% had received better gifts from their boyfriends or husbands or generous casual hook ups and didn’t give a shit, and the other 49% were just dudes who didn’t give a shit.
University of Michigan Researchers were prompted to carry out this study after social media caused a dramatic rise in people’s perceptions that their friends, co-workers, and that guy they have a class with so they friended him on Facebook actually give a shit what presents their boyfriend got them for Valentine’s Day.
This study debunked that myth, proving that a “like” on an online photo has little to no correlation with whether or not the “liker” actually gives a shit.
“We hope the results of this study will be eye opening,” Head Researcher Michael Brown said. “Our goal was to drop the amount of Facebook uploads and Instagrams of flower bouquets and giant teddy bears and expensive fondue dinners by 80%.”
Brown said the next item on the agenda is a comprehensive analysis of whether or not making a PicStitch for your friend’s birthday actually indicates that you are good friends.