A Line-by-Line Analysis of “Feliz Navidad”

Unless you live under a rock or something, you know that Christmas is right around the corner:  the time of year to enjoy moments with you family and friends, to tweet pictures of glasses of eggnog, and, most importantly, to play Christmas classics over the radio Spotify.

Now, I think we can all agree that there is a “Mount Rushmore” of Christmas songs, a mountain which contains “The Christmas Song,” “White Christmas,” “Sleigh Ride,” and “Winter Wonderland” (although you could also make an argument for “Let It Snow,” “Jingle Bells,” “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” and “All I Want for Christmas Is You” if you’re really feeling progressive.)

A song undoubtedly not on this mountain, however, is Jose Feliciano’s “Feliz Navidad.” I’m not saying that “Feliz Navidad” is a bad song, of course.  That would be racist[1].  All I’m saying is that it doesn’t really hold up to other Christmas classics.

But I can be swayed.  And that’s why the editors made me I decided to study the lyrics of Feliciano’s holiday classic in full, in order to get a better idea of why this song is such a holiday classic…and maybe decide to include it on the Christmas song Mount Rushmore after all.

Feliz Navidad

Feliz Navidad

Feliz Navidad

Prospero Año y Felicidad

Feliz Navidad

Feliz Navidad

Feliz Navidad

Prospero Año y Felicidad

So this part is not in English.  That’s the first thing I observed.  It’s either in Spanish or Portuguese.  I’m gonna go with Portuguese because they have a rich musical tradition.

Alright, so with that out of the way, now we can try to guess infer what these lyrics mean.  The first three lines are exactly the same, meaning it must be some kind of mantra.  Probably something pretty smart.  Maybe “Be kind to your family,” or “Don’t do drugs,” or “Don’t eat yellow snow.”  Considering this is a song about Christmas, my bet is on the yellow snow thing.

So the narrator says “Don’t eat yellow snow” three times, then follows it up with four words, all of which I don’t know, one of which kind of looks like the word “Feliz,” which I’m guessing means “Don’t eat.”  Perhaps the narrator is warning us against gorging ourselves over the Christmas holiday, surrounded by all of the junk food our moms bought for us upon our return home from University?  Yeah, that sounds right.  So Felicidad = A State of Not Eating Too Much (I’m assuming that “Felicidad” is the noun-al form of the verb “feliz.”  I’m probably right.)

Now we just have to figure out what “Prospero Año y” means.  “Prospero” kind of looks like the English word “Prospector.”  The only prospector I really know is this guy.  And he’s a pretty portly fellow…so maybe Feliciano is trying to say “The prospector ______ a state of not eating too much.”  It’s just the “Año y” part that’s confusing…bah, I’ll just come back to it.

I wanna wish you a merry Christmas

I wanna wish you a merry Christmas

I wanna wish you a merry Christmas

From the bottom of my heart

I wanna wish you a merry Christmas

I wanna wish you a merry Christmas

I wanna wish you a merry Christmas

From the bottom of my heart

Thank GOD, some English.  Let me tell you, guys, I was starting to think I was in waaaaaaaay over my head with this article, but it looks like maybe I’ll be able to salvage it.  Alright.

So from the looks of the first three lines, it seems as if the narrator wants to wish us something – possibly, a merry Christmas.  He’s super enthusiastic about doing it, too, because he says it three times.  So narrator = Christmas enthusiast.

Now the song starts getting a little strange, though.  He wants to wish us a merry Christmas “from the bottom of [his] heart.”  From the bottom of his heart?  That’s a little morbid.  I don’t want blood and arteries and shit all over my Christmas tidings.  The narrator has an obsession with Christmas that goes beyond just the idea of Christmas – it’s a visceral, carnal obsession.  He really loves Christmas – and he needs to show us his innards (TWICE, might I add, as the four lines repeat themselves) in order to really convince us of this fact.

Sweet, that went well.  Ol’ Prince G is back on track.  Let’s see what’s next:

Feliz Navidad

Feliz Navidad

Feliz Navidad

Prospero Año y Felicidad

Feliz Navidad

Feliz Navidad

Feliz Navidad

Prospero Año y Felicidad

Goddamn it.  More Portuguese.  Luckily, it’s just an exact repeat of the first eight lines, so basically I don’t even have to analyze it.

I do have to figure out what the hell “Año y” means, though.  It seems that, because the prospector is fat, and because he needs to be in a state of not eating; and given the narrator’s repetitive warning to not eat yellow snow; one can only assume that the prospector became fat because he ate yellow snow.  “Año” most likely means “stops [eating, implied];” leaving “y” to mean “[yellow snow, implied], and because of this is now pursuing.”  In total: “The prospector stops, and because of this is now pursuing a state of not eating.”

I wanna wish you a merry Christmas

I wanna wish you a merry Christmas

I wanna wish you a merry Christmas

From the bottom of my heart

I wanna wish you a merry Christmas

I wanna wish you a merry Christmas

I wanna wish you a merry Christmas

From the bottom of my heart

Wait, WAIT.  I think I get it now.

Most prospectors are American, right?  Well, the above lines are in English, meaning that they must be from the fasting prospector’s point of view.  Free from his yellow snow addiction, he is now encouraging us, the audience, to enjoy our respective Christmases, which, of course, are yellow snow-free.  Christmas is the one thing that can get his mind off of his addiction: when he is in the company of his friends and family, yellow snow isn’t even on his mind.  He is completely free from temptation.

HOWEVER, after discovering how great being skinnier makes him feel, the prospector realizes that he must resort to any means possible in order to lose weight: even if it means ripping out his organs and giving them to his friends as Christmas gifts.  Hence “from the bottom of my heart”: “I love Christmas, and I love you; and to show my love for you (and make me feel better about combatting my addiction in the process) I am going to wish you greetings by gifting you my inner workings, plucked from beneath my beating heart.”

Man, I am so happy I paid attention in my English classes in high school; this shit is easy.

Feliz Navidad

Feliz Navidad

Feliz Navidad

Prospero Año y Felicidad

Feliz Navidad

Feliz Navidad

Feliz Navidad

Prospero Año y Felicidad

Same deal, basically.  We’ll just move on to the part I know I understand.

I wanna wish you a merry Christmas

I wanna wish you a merry Christmas

I wanna wish you a merry Christmas

From the bottom of my heart

I wanna wish you a merry Christmas

I wanna wish you a merry Christmas

I wanna wish you a merry Christmas

From the bottom of my heart

This song has far more meaning than it initially seems to.  It’s not just some catchy Christmas tune – it’s a precautionary tale.  It begins with a warning: “Don’t eat yellow snow.”  The prospector does not heed this warning and eats yellow snow anyways, consuming a copious amount.  He stops, pursuing a state of not eating, and finds joy in it.  Better yet, Christmas is around the corner, and he occupies his mind with Christmas cheer…but also, Christmas disembowelment.  His maddening quest to become skinny will lead him to the “bottom of [his] heart”: he’s gonna get skinny, even if it means ripping out his own organs in the process.

So should this song be on the Christmas song Mount Rushmore?  Maybe.  If dark, unhappily ending precautionary tales are your thing, and if you think Christmas is nothing more than a man’s struggle against his gut; then yeah, I guess it should.  But to me, that’s not what Christmas is about.  It should be a time to throw away our insecurities, and to take solace in the fact that we are happy and healthy, and that life is good – we should not follow the prospector’s actions. 

Feliz Navidad

Feliz Navidad

Feliz Navidad

Prospero Año y Felicidad

Oh shit, it isn’t over?  Well whatever.  Don’t eat yellow snow.

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[1] By Northwestern standards, at least.