Muhammad: Everyone please calm down

Who brought the marshmallows?

MEDINA — In a press release this morning, the prophet Muhammad called on Muslims, Christians, Jews, and all others alike to “seriously calm the fuck down.”

“Guys, seriously? I mean, I’m really flattered that you think I’m important enough that a building has to be bombed every time I’m depicted, but honestly, we need to all take a chill pill. I preach peace, love, and acceptance — how did you guys turn that into ‘blow shit up when angry?'”

Thank You

Dearest Readers,

Mommy, what's a "drilldo?"

For those of you who weren’t subjected to our excessive Facebook power-tripping, it is our esteemed honor to tell you that August was a record month for Sherman Ave. We had over 15,000 hits, launching us over 30,000 all time. In addition, we had a record day of 2,314 views (although to be fair, most of those were probably bored freshman sitting at home and/or teenagers looking up historically-inspired pornography). Accordingly, we would like to give back to you all with a reward of bonus atrociousness, although this time not directly from ourselves. Below is a list of our personal top five phrases that, when searched, brought someone to Sherman Ave in August.

5. “Rebecca Black tits”

4. “Sexually excited cartoon wolf”

3. “Who Framed Roger Rabbit Porn Videos”

2. “NZ all black having sex with a sheep”

1. www.womangettingfucksawed.com

Yeah. It’s a pretty fucked up world. And apparently we owe Professor Bailey a thank you note.

Love, Peace, and Heinousness,
The Sherman Ave Writers