Dear Vandy,
Get fucked.
Seriously. We mean it. From the 20 of us hanging around Evanston and the scores more waiting at home in Westchester for school to start, Wildcat nation would like to invite you to get fucked come this Saturday night.
Wipe that smile off your face and pay attention. We’re not talking about “getting fucked up,” so you can leave your Miller Chill and Croakies back with your Brad Paisley in that just-southern-enough-to-make-you-feel-uncomfortable city you call home.
No. Vandy, you’re going to get fucked so bad the University will have to change its nickname from the Commodores to the Rear Admirals.
When the lights come on at Ryan Field this weekend, prepare to get smoked by the Wildcats like it’s the U.S. News and World Report college rankings.
#SyracuseGotFucked
Sure, Jordan Rodgers hooks up with Jordan Matthews more often than your frat brothers score with biddies in stupidly oversized hats. And yes, our defense has been known to Dukakis away a lead or two in the past. But at least our coach isn’t the biggest chauvinistic prick your school has produced since Jay Cutler, an impressive feat coming from a school like Vanderbilt.
When did being the doormat of the entire SEC allow for you to eschew all reason and presume you would not get entirely fucked this Saturday? If the robber baron founder of Vanderbilt University could conceivably win a douche-off against Northwestern’s genocide-apologist forebearer, is that really a good thing?
#GetFuckedVandy isn’t just a hashtag. It’s a promise. Venric Mark will annihilate you. Chi Chi Ariguzo will strangle you. Pat Fitzgerald will outman you and Kyle Prater will dickslap Al Gore just for good measure.
Get fucked Vandy.
Cordially,
Evander Jones
LIKE OUR FACEBOOK PAGE to sign our petition to stop the Vanderbilt University Football Team’s brutal clubbing of baby seals.
Sherman Ave 
hahahahha looks like the pussies are gettin’ mad.. we’ll see how that “promise” works out for ya..
Go ‘Dores and Anchor Down is all i will say for now…. but I’ll be back after y’all get rocked.
Cheers to an exciting game and no injuries
#Gotfuckedvandysuckshowyoulikedemapples
Ha, you guys are cute. We’re going to #AnchorDown in Evanston. Good luck! SEC…
you need a new anchor
#Gotfuckedvandysuckshowyoulikedemapples
Northwestern was named after an airline or a bank or a drug store chain, I think?
Anybody know how the school that is Chicago is called Northwestern?
Forgive me…I believe, the school is located Northwest of Chicago…that’s it, right?
Northwestern was named after the Northwest Territory when that was the western border of the United States. Know you history before you make an ass of yourself. And to the rest of you, though we may win or lose, we like to get pumped up just like any other school. Don’t tell me you don’t trash talk. Oh, and you should know this is a satirical website, so things are likely to be hyperbolized. Now let’s just watch some football.
Truly classy folks at Southwestern…but then what do you expect coming out of Chicago! Go Dores!
It’s Northwestern you inbred southern hick
#Gotfuckedvandysuckshowyoulikedemapples
Boom
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH ANCHOR DOWN!! I’ll be back on Sunday to discuss some more Commodore football.
Signed,
The owner of a classy Vanderbilt blog.
How can we get fucked when you are going to be our bitch? Here’s to a good game and no injuries.
Never seen rain before?
#whosthebitchnow
#Gotfuckedvandysuckshowyoulikedemapples
This is the best thing I’ve read all day
BWAWAWA you dont really believe this trash do you? i mean northwestern kids are supposed to be smart.
We are smart.
#Gotfuckedvandysuckshowyoulikedemapples
Thougtfully written. I’m impressed. We don’t see that much of a beautifully articulated argument down here very often. All I will say to that is….Can’t wait…..Vandy is going to Stomp your weak shit into the ground!!
You must be schooled in rhetoric. NW must be quite proud of the “20” of you and your parents also. Tell you what, we will simply kick in your teeth on the field and then politely tell you good game after its all said and done.
You just did your school a disservice. Good representation of NW. Props boys!
Can’t wait for Sunday morning’s #nuwalkofshame
Can’t wait for Sunday morning’s #vandywalkofshame
#Gotfuckedvandysuckshowyoulikedemapples
Or is it Bitches?
IDK guys, I cant tell if this dude is serious. I would surely hope that he just came back from a 2 week meth binge when he wrote this garbage. I can not imagine that he really thinks that the demolition job that is about to happen to NU will be in reverse. If this indeed turns out to be your real assesment of things to come then you sir may want to start picking out a good brand of rope with which to hang yourself come Saturday night. LMFAO GTFO
Oh yeah,btw, DORES MUTHAFUKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
chauvinistic prick??? you wish your coach was that big of a fuckin boss. any guy that uses the word chauvinistic should literally yank the string to take their tampon out. can’t wait to shit all over you this weekend and for you to take this fuckin post down so you don’t have to see us blow your shit blog up #wildpussies #anchordown
Sorry we use big words bro.
#pussydores #anchorup
#Gotfuckedvandysuckshowyoulikedemapples
#Anchordown
Let’s go black and gold!
This is kind of cute in a weird way. This article is like a pitiful little child throwing a tantrum against a much stronger, better, happier, and generally more awesome person. For the folks at NW that don’t understand metaphors the second person is symbolic of Vandy.
Have a great game and enjoy having no quarterback for awhile!
When you explain a joke, it takes away from the meaning of the joke.
#youdontgethumor #twoquarterbacksarebetterthanone
#Gotfuckedvandysuckshowyoulikedemapples